Always
by Disappearing Boy
Summary: Snape and Evans are Head Boy and Girl. In light of recent events, the two former friends avoid each other. But Potter is so predictable.


A/N: Told from Snape's POV.

* * *

Every night has been torture for me this year. Lying on my bed, our rooms right next to each other, knowing that you're so close to me – and not being able to do a damn thing about it. But things have happened. A word that cannot be taken back.

_Mudblood_.

I wince at the memory. That fucking Potter. It was him that split us apart, I'm convinced of it. Even worse, now you're going with him. My one true love and my worst enemy - together. Life has become a nightmare.

"_Well, that's it,"_ I try telling myself. _"That's the end of that." _Ultimately, life has to go on without you, and it has gone on.

Too bad I'm not very convincing. I cry myself to sleep.

* * *

Things are happening now, though. Change is in the air.

We take our daily rounds throughout the school in silence. Afterwards, we go our separate ways, as usual. From my room, I can hear screaming. Potter. And now he's acting the part of "controlling boyfriend," as I knew he would. His voice sickens me. Then comes the unmistakable stomps down the stairs and the sound of your door slamming shut. I know what you're going through. I've been there as well. As misguided as your decisions have been, I still find it all too easy to forgive you for everything that has happened.

And my heart aches, but I feel powerless to help.

After awhile, he comes back and asks you to open up. I hear that fake bullshit pleading from him and then something very beautiful: you standing up for yourself. As you tick off his shortcomings, one by one, I actually want to scream out in joy. The emotion in your voice nearly breaks my heart.

Of course, he gets defensive again. More yelling. He shouts one last thing before stalking out again.

_Mudblood_.

I can't help but laugh a little at that. It's stupid. Everything about this is so fucking stupid.

I finally muster up the strength to stand and walk out of my room. I turn and see you sitting on your bed through the open door. Silent tears run down your face, which is red with despair. Surprise flashes across it for a brief moment, as you take me in, and then is replaced by a questioning look. Mixed with anger.

I hold my gaze. Neither of us say a word.

And since I've already gone this far, I find that it isn't very difficult to take the next step. So I do. I turn around and wandlessly lock the door. I'm not leaving the room until everything is right again.

When I turn back towards you, you're standing up straight, almost glowering at me in challenge. My breath catches in my throat, and the blood flows impossibly faster through my veins. A million things are said in that moment. Yet still, we don't make a sound, afraid of breaking the trance that we have put each other in.

I don't know who makes the first move, but suddenly we're clutching each other as if we're trying to squeeze the life out of us. And in a way, we are.

My head rests against your shoulder, and I feel like I've come home again after a long absence. Your tears are soaking through my shirt. The wetness touches my skin, and an involuntary shudder goes through me. I pull back, and you quickly look down at the ground, refusing to meet my eye now.

But there's nothing to be ashamed of.

When you finally look up again, I think I see something in your eyes. Something that might have always been there but that I've never seen until now. Or maybe I'm just imagining things in the heat of the moment. Whatever it is, I do the only logical thing I know.

As I grasp your head in my hands, I can briefly make out your look of shock before my eyes close and our lips crash together. For a second, you don't respond.

I remember a thought I had a while back that if I ever kissed someone, I'd be terrible at it. And in the back of my mind, I realize that this is wrong on so many different levels, but really, nothing has ever felt so right in my entire life. So I continue.

The same things must be occurring to you, as well, because before I know it, your mouth opens, and our tongues touch. Parts of me that were lost to darkness on that fateful day months before are lit up again. Hands start roaming.

We shed our clothes and inhibitions before falling back on the bed together, and now I can't even tell where I begin and you end.

* * *

Much later, as you drift off to sleep in my arms, _"I love you"_ falls from your lips. _"I will always love you."_

Mere words cannot describe what we have, so I doubt you know what you're saying.

At the moment, though, it doesn't really matter.

**FIN**


End file.
